8 December, 2014

Not Another Story of the Domestic Violence – Letter to Human Rights

No Comments
Category: Country review, Discrimination, European Action Day, Guest writer, Human Rights, Opinion, Victims of hate crime
Gubaz Koberidze
4 pm

Written by Tamara Shvelidze

Dear Human Rights,

My name is Tamara, and I’m 23 years old, and I come from Georgia.  I would like to tell you a story of one snowball that has become so huge that it’s “hardly stoppable”

1I live in a city, very famous for its hospitality, wine and a statue of an iron woman, holding a bowl full of wine in a one hand, and a sword in the other. This statue is not just another ruin of soviet culture, where I grew up, whether I wanted or not. This statue also symbolizes the strength, and a power of women. She invites you over for a glass of wine, if you are visiting with good intentions, but if you are here as an enemy or invader, she introduces you to the sharp spike of her sword.  Unfortunately, I rarely see this kind of women, around me. We say, that we have a cult of women (That is also very sexist in my humble opinion) where the women are respected, admired and honored.  But reality is more cruel, than sexism.

There are common reasons around the world why battered women stay in their abusive relationships.  Socio-economic background,  children, hope, lack of education and many others, in case of Georgia, number one reason is not only patriarchal society, but also the fact, that the families where actually created using a brute force.

1Let me take you on a journey, thirty or twenty years back in time.  That time, bride kidnapping was very popular.  Yes, just like that, if you were 15 years old, maybe less, there could have been some guy maybe twice older, secretly deciding that you would have made brilliant wife and good mother. He could have easily kidnapped and raped you.  Worse was yet to come. Subsequently, because you were not virgin anymore, in 99% of cases your family would refuse, to receive you back. They would have forced you, to stay and live with the oppressor for the rest of your life “happily ever after”

Most of men, at a time, had their own views on the women, like a very typical image of 40-50’s housewife in USA.  – But with a tiny difference – Their wives only said “I Do” because they had no any other optimal choices.

Sounds inconsequent right? But I was growing up surrounded by this reality.  I remember myself, as a kid, reading some tabloids press, where every issue, was full of anonymous letters from battered, raped, violated women, who were under compulsion of their husband and families to stay as a prisoner in their own homes. Only hope, they had, was that they were not alone in this s**t and there were many other women, out there, who were struggling like they were.

Thanks to you, my dear human rights, when you finally arrived in my country, many women understood, that they can speak up for their rights, divorce oppressors, start brand new life and finally fill themselves as a full members of society, in spite of fact, how some folks will label them.

And here is a second phase of the violence beginning.  Change of situation hit like a hummer onto the heads of the men, who were used to wife- slaves.  And the massacre began.  Not to go farther, during last few months, around hundred women have been killed by their husbands, thousands of women were bitten up, and the main reason, is because they don’t want to obey any more.

Let me give you a quick overview:  Professor of  Ilia State University was killed by her ex-husband, during the lecture, husband committed suicide later.  76 years old man killed his wife, man killed step-daughter with 24 gun shots. Several women committed suicide, because they could not defend themselves against their ex- husbands anymore, pregnant women mother of 8 kids… and many other cases that could not be left inattentively. Every day, when I turn on a TV, or surf into the internet, I see at least one case of women killed in my country.  The violence towards the women has enormously increased.

Untitled

Dear human rights, I understand that you are doing your best, but for some people you are just a paper, because they don’t respect you. There are many women as well, who agree with their statements. “If wife deserved to be beaten up, that’s OK ” “She was asking for it” “ Woman should not act that way to become a victim of violence” –they say.

And even they are not the ones to be blamed.  I believe that the oppressors are victims themselves.

You have never been there, when they were growing up, even some of their kids, will grow that way, because they have no idea who you are and what you do.  And I could not even blame you for your absence when their mentality started to form, because my country was not ready to accept you at that moment.  That’s why I started to speak about snowballs, dominos and even butterflies maybe.

Hopefully, there are many people, around me, who speak up for you, are there for you, but we must to do more together.  Generations of women, have been and are suffering but once and for all, that damn snowball needs to be crushed.

Contributed by Mike G Law.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*